"All of time and space; everywhere and anywhere; every star that ever was. Where do you want to start?"
The 11th Doctor
The 11th Doctor
Around this time of year I experience both extreme thankfulness and intense loneliness. I don’t really think I have seasonal depression, I just think the Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year’s season causes me to do a great deal of reflection on the previous 11 months.
There is so much that I’m thankful for and I am blessed beyond my comprehension. I have all the basic physical needs plus a wonderful family, an amazing group of covenant friends, a God who loves me, and a lot of miscellaneous luxuries.
But there is so much that I long for, so much I haven’t accomplished yet, so much I haven’t seen. I ache to be closer with Christ, I want to make something of this music, I want to grow in my awareness, I want the people in my life to know how special they are, I want to be used and to serve, I yearn to abandon my selfishness, I desire to travel more, to write more, to sing more, to create more.
I haven’t had many people in my life consistent enough to do or experience any of those things with. My friends over the last 15 years, although I love them dearly, have been transient. And that’s okay; I understand the ebb and flow of seasons. But I do miss them, and I crave a time when I will have consistent people in my life to explore with and grow with.
I believe I have that now, for the most part, but I feel like something’s missing. Maybe there are some people I haven’t met yet that will become a part of our little covenant family. Maybe I just need to appreciate and cultivate what I have. Maybe it’s both.
The art of consistency now germinates in my heart. I believe in a time of fruit and a time of pruning. Let it rain down, let it sprout up.
My best friends are my two roommates.
Sometimes they really irritate me. Sometimes they ask me questions I don’t want to answer. Sometimes they take forever to make decisions. Sometimes they show too much affection for my liking. Sometimes they do things that furiously annoy me. Sometimes they don’t believe me. Sometimes I don’t like what they’re focused on. Sometimes they intentionally contradict me. Sometimes they’re really, grotesquely inappropriate.
But I love them. And I know I do all of those things to them but everything is okay. And I wouldn’t change any of it.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe the things you know
To believe that you are loved and wanted and worth something
But when anyone else around you begins to doubt
You can’t help but tell them how wrong they are
And remind them of what’s true
And then you silently wish that someone would do that for you
But the truth is your loved ones are doing that
Maybe not in the same way
And maybe not the best way
But they still care about you
And they believe in you
So stop hiding your face from them
Reveal your brokenness so it can begin to mend
Show them your gaps so they can be filled in
Be light and in love
You are more valuable than you know
These babes need good homes! The one on the left (b&w) is a female and the one on the right (g&w) is a male. Both are about 6-8 weeks old and are super sweet and playful. They get along with both cats and dogs. Please contact me if you or someone you know wants one or both of them!